This will be my last post of 2009. It seems like a good time to go over events that have taken place over the last 12 months, but I'm sure all six of my followers would find themselves a little bored. I'll give you a few brief highlights.
- A failed relationship...that I'm glad failed.
- A change of address...that was more than entirely necessary.
- Two more semesters of school at Sac State completed...two to go.
- About 1,500 pairs of shoes sold...and counting.
- Several concerts including two of my favorite artists...Incubus and Atmosphere.
- Another relationship...so far, so good.
So, there it is. My 23rd year on this planet and not a whole lot to show for it. Sure I made some strides in my personal life, I completed some more school, but if there were ever a movie made or a novel written about my life, they very well may gloss over this past year. A footnote in the hopefully remarkable story of my life. Well, that is selling this year a bit short. I have met some very nice people and made some relationships that will hopefully last a long time. I don't want to go too far into detail, I do love being cryptic, but I feel as though this last year can definitely be divided into two parts. The shitty first part, and the wonderful second part.
Onto the shit first.
The year started off well enough. I was single, I had just moved into my second house outside of my parent's. I had a couple of roommates that were actually pretty cool. Well, one of them was cool, the other is a bit of a douchebag. Work was going well, I got a raise a month or so into the year, so that was nice. Then a few months in I started dating this girl. That was nice too, for a little while, then it turned to shit. I do not feel like going into detail about that relationship but suffice it to say I am glad it's over and wish it had ended earlier than it did.
At this point we are in about June. I was getting to the point where I could not stand living at the house I had moved into and my cool roommate was gone, replaced by an even bigger douchebag than the one that still lived there. Than my half-birthday came. I took a trip down to Santa Barbara to see Incubus and getting out of the city and by the ocean saved me. Also getting away from the sweltering heat of Sacramento and the incredibly annoying roommates was a bonus. This concert, which was amazing, marked the end of the first half of 2009 as well as my 23rd year. I vowed to make sure things would get better and they eventually did.
I moved into my first apartment, by myself, which I am glad to report is still amazing. I can not describe the joys of having your own place to call home. I completely cut off ties with the girl I was dating in the shitty first half, and soon school was starting. I had signed up for two classes in my major and I was very excited about the prospect of getting to meet a lot of people in the same field as me.
Which brings me to the second part of the year: The Wonderful Part.
School started and my classes were hard enough, but not too challenging. I met some very cool people in my public relations classes and other than the huge tuition hike, I was more or less happy with the situation. I rode my bike to school and to work (a habit I need to start back up) and things were going well. I had a few dates, nothing of consequence I can assure you, then I did meet someone spectacular. For reasons best kept to myself I am going to skip over all of that portion of the second half of my year, but it certainly has made things more wonderful.
While there were many ups and downs over the last year, my 23rd year on this planet was a successful one. I would like to think that my adventure into my mid-twenties beginning in 11 days, will be more fruitful, but we shall see.
Some accomplishments I hope to achieve over the next 12 months:
- Participate in a marathon... http://www.tricalifornia.com/index.cfm/SF2010-main.htm
- Put together all of my writing, my short stories, a few articles and poetry into some sort of a long running narrative or larger story.
- Publish said long running narrative or larger story.
- Graduate College.
- Go to Coachella 2010.
- Actually watch all of the DVDs I have and read all the books on my shelves.
I think all of these goals are doable. And I have decided to maintain this blog while creating another chronicling how I go about finishing all of these goals I have set for myself. So let me actually go back and add one more goal to my list of goals.
- Maintain blog on list of goals.
Well, that is all for me and 2009. Hello 2010 and all the adventures awaiting me, the people, the places and the experience. And thank you to all of the people who have read this blog, who will read my blog in the future and will help me accomplish the goals I have set out for myself.
Boom.
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Thursday, October 15, 2009
All-Time, Deserted Island, Top Songs For a Mix Tape
My All-Time, Deserted Island, Gotta Have, Top Songs for a Mix Tape (CD now) are as follows:
1....
Wait, wait, wait. I think it may be necessary to give a little explanation to the following selection of songs. That is, I think it is necessary to let you all know why I chose the songs I did and why I make mixes in the first place. Whenever I make a mix for someone it is usually someone I care a good deal about. Sometimes even for people I care a great deal about.
This seemingly random assortment of songs I put together help me to say things that may be too hard to say face to face. Or they represent some time from the past we shared together. Or maybe I just really like the song.
Whatever it may be each song has a purpose and a meaning. Every time I make a mix I put a little bit of myself into it, I imbue each song with my own being, my spirit, my essence. Well, that all sounds a little silly now that I think about it, but suffice it to say if I or anyone else takes the time to make you a mix you should be thankful. It's a lost art these days, so yeah, here we go.
1. I Need You Back - Ben Kweller
This song is the perfect way to open a mix. It starts off slow and simple and before you know it whether you're sitting in your car or in your shower (my two favorite places to dance) you're making a fool of yourself dancing around. The song clocks in at about three and a quarter minutes long which is nice too, the first song of a mix shouldn't bog you down like some Decemberists and Brand New epics do...that will come later.
2. My Hands Are Shaking - Sondre Lerche
This song is so great because it has a great chorus, is super catchy and is very sweet and simple at the same time. It transitions easily from most songs into the mix and sets up a slower song or a faster song equally. Sondre Lerche is also just an amazing musician.
3. To The Dogs Or Whoever - Josh Ritter
While I mostly only know of Ritter's, The Historical Conquests of Josh Ritter, I feel like that may be enough. This song is the perfect start to that album and fits in perfectly after Lerche. It has a certain subdued energy to it. Almost like Ritter is winding up the Jack-In-The-Box with every verse and letting him punch us in the face with every chorus of, "I thought I heard somebody calling, In the dark I thought I heard somebody call."
4. Taper Jean Girl - Kings of Leon
I hate to admit that this is one of my ex-girlfriends favorite Kings of Leon songs, but it is so good that it trumps how much of an ass she is. There is an instrumental start to the song like the few before it, but what sets it apart from those songs is Caleb Followill's slightly off but perfect voice for this modern southern sickly sweet music. It is nearly impossible to sit still while this song is playing.
5. Mirror Kissers - The Cribs
I found out about this band when I saw them open for Death Cab For Cutie in 2005. They're certainly a different vibe than DCFC but that doesn't necessarily mean anything. This song fits really well after Taper Jean Girl, it keeps up with the catchy, up-beat feeling we get from KOL and is a little easier to sing a long too.
(On a side not, I feel it's important to have some continuity to your mix. You can't put a song like Tiny Dancer after Justify My Thug...wait a second...no...but maybe...hmmm...continuity is key, but honestly this is my All-Time Top songs for a mix so if I want to mix Elton John and Jay-Z I will! Damnit!) On to...
6. My Sweet Fracture - Saves The Day
I love Saves The Day. Well, I love Saves The Day prior to their last three albums. In Reverie was the start of their fall and Under The Boards is the continuation of their demise. It's OK though, we still have Through Being Cool, Stay What You Are and Ups and Downs. Back to this song though. It is currently the longest on the mix clocking in at 3:54, and is one of the best, "Fuck You" songs ever. "Could you tell me the next time that you're choking? I'll run right over to shove some dirt right down your throat." Ahh, I love it.
7. The Heinrich Maneuver - Interpol
I really like this song. It starts straight off with vocals and has a much more produced sound than the last couple of songs. I saw this band at the Coachella music festival a few years ago and every time I hear them and incidentally Kings Of Leon, I always think of the desert. There is a certain calming effect this song has over me while making me feel a sense of longing at the same time. It also builds up this energy in me, like I'm running down an alley from someone but I can't quite make out if someone is actually behind me or not. That suspenseful feeling really drives this song. I think it's also a good transition away from the faster paced songs that make up the beginning of the mix.
8. Reunion - Stars
Stars is one of those bands that feels like they should be so much bigger than they actually are. This song lets me exhale all that built up tension I get from Interpol. Once the song starts I literally feel like I can relax, like I was at a high school dance standing against the wall too scared to move and for some reason the embarrassment didn't matter anymore. I slowly got off the wall and just enjoyed myself. This song lets me breathe.
9. Hummingbird - Wilco
I love piano driven music. Wilco, my absolute favorite Ben Kweller, Ben Folds, Jack's Mannequin, even Queen. This song is great because it is fun and catchy while not being overpowering. It doesn't bear down on you but it isn't too slow at the same time. It's a good middle of the mix song, remember what I was talking about earlier? Continuity? Here we go, my words in action.
10. A Certain Shade Of Green (Acoustic Version) - Incubus
There are so many great Incubus songs to chose from (Stellar, Talk Shows on Mute, Summer Romance (Anti-Gravity Love Song) but I recently fell in love with this version of this great song from S.C.I.E.N.C.E. The original is much faster paced and frenetic really, but this version plays perfectly at this part of the mix and shows how good of song it really is.
11. Runaway - Mae
Mae is another one of those bands that deserves more commercial success than they get. They're a great alternative rock band...I feel weird using that label just to let you know. It is so vague and wide-ranging, how could you possibly determine what kind of music this band plays just from that description? I have a hard time classifying them as something else though, I don't know if that's a bad thing or not, but this song as well as most of their other songs is just really good, catchy, melodic rock music. The lyrics have meaning to them and it's not the usual radio friendly mixture of three power chords and a stupid hook to keep the masses entertained. ( Like anything by Staind, Creed, Nickleback, Papa Roach, and countless other shitty bands. Oh and if you're my friend and you like any of the bands just mentioned please reconsider talking to me again. Thank you.)
12. Godlovesugly - Atmosphere
If you've never heard of Atmosphere, even if you don't like hip-hop or rap or any of that, you need to listen to them. There have been two times in my life, the time before I started listening to Atmosphere and the time after I've listened to them. Seriously, they're that good. Godlovesugly is just a great example of how rap doesn't have to be about what almost every mainstream rapper makes it about. Slug (the MC) tells stories. About himself, the people he's met, people he's made up and everyone in between. "I wear my scars like the rings on a pimp. I live life like the captain of a sinking ship." To say I have been influenced by Atmosphere in my own writing would be an understatement. But this song specifically fits in well after Mae. The piano driven beat plays well after Runaway and the song itself has a certain melodic and deliberate sense to itself.
13. Lack Of Colour - Death Cab For Cutie
Maybe a bit of an abrupt change from Atmosphere, but sometimes you have to kick somebody in the mouth with a sad song. Transatlanticism seriously got me through high school. Heart ache was somehow made easier to swallow listening to Ben Gibbard sing about all his fucked up relationships. It made feeling sorry for myself poetic and right, it justified my wallowing in sadness because I knew Gibbard had it way worse than me. But honestly I never thought about it like that back then, we were the same. And knowing someone else had gone through the same shit I did made it better.
14. Hallelujah - Rufus Wainwright
This is one of the most hauntingly beautiful songs I've ever heard. Wainwright's voice has such a majestic feel to it, like classy but common place at the same time, like he could sing on the corner for spare change or at Carnegie Hall (which he has coincidentally enough done). Every other cover I've heard of this song hasn't been as good as this one. I don't care if it was on a Shrek soundtrack, it is a great song and definitely deserves a spot on this mix.
15. Tragic Mirror - Sondre Lerche
I know what you're thinking, two songs by the same artist, but like I said earlier it's my mix so I'm gonna put what I want on it. Tragic Mirror has a more insightful feel to it than My Hands Are Shaking. They're both simple acoustic songs but Mirror has the opposite effect that the previous Lerche song has. It's a little sad, it doesn't talk about unabashed love and what it does to you. It talks about how love ruins you, how it gets to your head and how it breaks you down. It's catchy but it's a sad tale.
16. The Swiss Army Romance - Dashboard Confessional
Ahhh, Dashboard Confessional. Good ol' Chris Carrabba pluckin away at his acoustic guitar while his wrists bleed and his hair hangs ever so slightly over one eye. OK, he's not that emo but you would be hard pressed to find many more musicians as emotional as he is. Saying that, earlier DC was really good. I had a similar experience with DC that I had with Death Cab For Cutie. I was young, I didn't know how to really express the way I was feeling in my own words and these great musicians sang everything I was feeling. They articulated my thoughts in a way I thought to be impossible. Of course now I am a bit more bold with a keyboard and how I feel, but that's the whole point of a mix isn't it? Using other people's words to express something we can't. I think that's why I write, to give other people the opportunity to find someone who can help them feel like they have a voice. Even if that voice is coming out of someone else's mouth.
17. Wait For Love (You Know You Will) - Josh Ritter
This is the second time I've used two songs by the same artist on this mix and I feel justified in my decision. Like the first two songs by Sondre Lerche, these two songs do have similarities but they have different meanings. The whole mix shouldn't portray one exact emotion or sentiment. With this song Ritter sings about having someone in his life willing to love him and be there for him and his acknowledgment that he loves someone else that makes him wait for that love. "I wait for love, I wait for love. I got someone on my mind, and she don't make me wait the way you do. Time, all she loves me all the time and she don't make me wait the way you do. Wait for love, some days we all have to wait for love."
It is a terrible thing having someone who is willing to love you yet for some reason you can't stop thinking about that someone else. It is terrible and wonderful at the same time, because even though you're hurting the person ready for you, you know in your heart your love for that someone else is true. In the end you'll most likely end up with neither though, but where would we get sad songs if everyone had a happy ending?
18. Play Crack The Sky - Brand New
This song is one of my all-time favorite songs. It is stripped down and honest, scared and beguiling. Brand New has gone from angsty-teen, love scorned punk to jarring, heavy, dark
punch-you-in-the-nose kind of rock. This song fits somewhere in the middle of all that. A simple and sincere song that is a perfect ending track to this mix. Every time I hear this song I can't help but take stock of everything in my life, I want to call my parents and tell them I love them for fear I won't get another chance to do so in person. I think of love lost and love never had. Of women who have not even given me a second look to those who cried leaving me in the middle of the night. Telling me they love me but they can't do it anymore. This song always leaves me a little shaken up, but it is so beautiful and right I don't mind at all.
So there you have it. My All-Time, Deserted Island, Top Songs to put in a mix. Of course depending on my mood or the person I'm making the mix for some of the songs might change. I kept the track list to 18 songs because it fits right under the usual amount of space on a blank CD. If I had more time and limitless space there are countless songs I would add to this, but for the sake of this blog, and my sanity, 18 will do it for now.
I suggest also if you have not heard of any of these bands or songs that you quickly remedy that situation. And remember, anyone can make a mix, whether it's good or not doesn't necessarily matter. It's the fact that you took the time to compile a smattering of your favorite music to give to someone else that is important. The mix tape or CD is a lost art, help me bring it back.
1....
Wait, wait, wait. I think it may be necessary to give a little explanation to the following selection of songs. That is, I think it is necessary to let you all know why I chose the songs I did and why I make mixes in the first place. Whenever I make a mix for someone it is usually someone I care a good deal about. Sometimes even for people I care a great deal about.
This seemingly random assortment of songs I put together help me to say things that may be too hard to say face to face. Or they represent some time from the past we shared together. Or maybe I just really like the song.
Whatever it may be each song has a purpose and a meaning. Every time I make a mix I put a little bit of myself into it, I imbue each song with my own being, my spirit, my essence. Well, that all sounds a little silly now that I think about it, but suffice it to say if I or anyone else takes the time to make you a mix you should be thankful. It's a lost art these days, so yeah, here we go.
1. I Need You Back - Ben Kweller
This song is the perfect way to open a mix. It starts off slow and simple and before you know it whether you're sitting in your car or in your shower (my two favorite places to dance) you're making a fool of yourself dancing around. The song clocks in at about three and a quarter minutes long which is nice too, the first song of a mix shouldn't bog you down like some Decemberists and Brand New epics do...that will come later.
2. My Hands Are Shaking - Sondre Lerche
This song is so great because it has a great chorus, is super catchy and is very sweet and simple at the same time. It transitions easily from most songs into the mix and sets up a slower song or a faster song equally. Sondre Lerche is also just an amazing musician.
3. To The Dogs Or Whoever - Josh Ritter
While I mostly only know of Ritter's, The Historical Conquests of Josh Ritter, I feel like that may be enough. This song is the perfect start to that album and fits in perfectly after Lerche. It has a certain subdued energy to it. Almost like Ritter is winding up the Jack-In-The-Box with every verse and letting him punch us in the face with every chorus of, "I thought I heard somebody calling, In the dark I thought I heard somebody call."
4. Taper Jean Girl - Kings of Leon
I hate to admit that this is one of my ex-girlfriends favorite Kings of Leon songs, but it is so good that it trumps how much of an ass she is. There is an instrumental start to the song like the few before it, but what sets it apart from those songs is Caleb Followill's slightly off but perfect voice for this modern southern sickly sweet music. It is nearly impossible to sit still while this song is playing.
5. Mirror Kissers - The Cribs
I found out about this band when I saw them open for Death Cab For Cutie in 2005. They're certainly a different vibe than DCFC but that doesn't necessarily mean anything. This song fits really well after Taper Jean Girl, it keeps up with the catchy, up-beat feeling we get from KOL and is a little easier to sing a long too.
(On a side not, I feel it's important to have some continuity to your mix. You can't put a song like Tiny Dancer after Justify My Thug...wait a second...no...but maybe...hmmm...continuity is key, but honestly this is my All-Time Top songs for a mix so if I want to mix Elton John and Jay-Z I will! Damnit!) On to...
6. My Sweet Fracture - Saves The Day
I love Saves The Day. Well, I love Saves The Day prior to their last three albums. In Reverie was the start of their fall and Under The Boards is the continuation of their demise. It's OK though, we still have Through Being Cool, Stay What You Are and Ups and Downs. Back to this song though. It is currently the longest on the mix clocking in at 3:54, and is one of the best, "Fuck You" songs ever. "Could you tell me the next time that you're choking? I'll run right over to shove some dirt right down your throat." Ahh, I love it.
7. The Heinrich Maneuver - Interpol
I really like this song. It starts straight off with vocals and has a much more produced sound than the last couple of songs. I saw this band at the Coachella music festival a few years ago and every time I hear them and incidentally Kings Of Leon, I always think of the desert. There is a certain calming effect this song has over me while making me feel a sense of longing at the same time. It also builds up this energy in me, like I'm running down an alley from someone but I can't quite make out if someone is actually behind me or not. That suspenseful feeling really drives this song. I think it's also a good transition away from the faster paced songs that make up the beginning of the mix.
8. Reunion - Stars
Stars is one of those bands that feels like they should be so much bigger than they actually are. This song lets me exhale all that built up tension I get from Interpol. Once the song starts I literally feel like I can relax, like I was at a high school dance standing against the wall too scared to move and for some reason the embarrassment didn't matter anymore. I slowly got off the wall and just enjoyed myself. This song lets me breathe.
9. Hummingbird - Wilco
I love piano driven music. Wilco, my absolute favorite Ben Kweller, Ben Folds, Jack's Mannequin, even Queen. This song is great because it is fun and catchy while not being overpowering. It doesn't bear down on you but it isn't too slow at the same time. It's a good middle of the mix song, remember what I was talking about earlier? Continuity? Here we go, my words in action.
10. A Certain Shade Of Green (Acoustic Version) - Incubus
There are so many great Incubus songs to chose from (Stellar, Talk Shows on Mute, Summer Romance (Anti-Gravity Love Song) but I recently fell in love with this version of this great song from S.C.I.E.N.C.E. The original is much faster paced and frenetic really, but this version plays perfectly at this part of the mix and shows how good of song it really is.
11. Runaway - Mae
Mae is another one of those bands that deserves more commercial success than they get. They're a great alternative rock band...I feel weird using that label just to let you know. It is so vague and wide-ranging, how could you possibly determine what kind of music this band plays just from that description? I have a hard time classifying them as something else though, I don't know if that's a bad thing or not, but this song as well as most of their other songs is just really good, catchy, melodic rock music. The lyrics have meaning to them and it's not the usual radio friendly mixture of three power chords and a stupid hook to keep the masses entertained. ( Like anything by Staind, Creed, Nickleback, Papa Roach, and countless other shitty bands. Oh and if you're my friend and you like any of the bands just mentioned please reconsider talking to me again. Thank you.)
12. Godlovesugly - Atmosphere
If you've never heard of Atmosphere, even if you don't like hip-hop or rap or any of that, you need to listen to them. There have been two times in my life, the time before I started listening to Atmosphere and the time after I've listened to them. Seriously, they're that good. Godlovesugly is just a great example of how rap doesn't have to be about what almost every mainstream rapper makes it about. Slug (the MC) tells stories. About himself, the people he's met, people he's made up and everyone in between. "I wear my scars like the rings on a pimp. I live life like the captain of a sinking ship." To say I have been influenced by Atmosphere in my own writing would be an understatement. But this song specifically fits in well after Mae. The piano driven beat plays well after Runaway and the song itself has a certain melodic and deliberate sense to itself.
13. Lack Of Colour - Death Cab For Cutie
Maybe a bit of an abrupt change from Atmosphere, but sometimes you have to kick somebody in the mouth with a sad song. Transatlanticism seriously got me through high school. Heart ache was somehow made easier to swallow listening to Ben Gibbard sing about all his fucked up relationships. It made feeling sorry for myself poetic and right, it justified my wallowing in sadness because I knew Gibbard had it way worse than me. But honestly I never thought about it like that back then, we were the same. And knowing someone else had gone through the same shit I did made it better.
14. Hallelujah - Rufus Wainwright
This is one of the most hauntingly beautiful songs I've ever heard. Wainwright's voice has such a majestic feel to it, like classy but common place at the same time, like he could sing on the corner for spare change or at Carnegie Hall (which he has coincidentally enough done). Every other cover I've heard of this song hasn't been as good as this one. I don't care if it was on a Shrek soundtrack, it is a great song and definitely deserves a spot on this mix.
15. Tragic Mirror - Sondre Lerche
I know what you're thinking, two songs by the same artist, but like I said earlier it's my mix so I'm gonna put what I want on it. Tragic Mirror has a more insightful feel to it than My Hands Are Shaking. They're both simple acoustic songs but Mirror has the opposite effect that the previous Lerche song has. It's a little sad, it doesn't talk about unabashed love and what it does to you. It talks about how love ruins you, how it gets to your head and how it breaks you down. It's catchy but it's a sad tale.
16. The Swiss Army Romance - Dashboard Confessional
Ahhh, Dashboard Confessional. Good ol' Chris Carrabba pluckin away at his acoustic guitar while his wrists bleed and his hair hangs ever so slightly over one eye. OK, he's not that emo but you would be hard pressed to find many more musicians as emotional as he is. Saying that, earlier DC was really good. I had a similar experience with DC that I had with Death Cab For Cutie. I was young, I didn't know how to really express the way I was feeling in my own words and these great musicians sang everything I was feeling. They articulated my thoughts in a way I thought to be impossible. Of course now I am a bit more bold with a keyboard and how I feel, but that's the whole point of a mix isn't it? Using other people's words to express something we can't. I think that's why I write, to give other people the opportunity to find someone who can help them feel like they have a voice. Even if that voice is coming out of someone else's mouth.
17. Wait For Love (You Know You Will) - Josh Ritter
This is the second time I've used two songs by the same artist on this mix and I feel justified in my decision. Like the first two songs by Sondre Lerche, these two songs do have similarities but they have different meanings. The whole mix shouldn't portray one exact emotion or sentiment. With this song Ritter sings about having someone in his life willing to love him and be there for him and his acknowledgment that he loves someone else that makes him wait for that love. "I wait for love, I wait for love. I got someone on my mind, and she don't make me wait the way you do. Time, all she loves me all the time and she don't make me wait the way you do. Wait for love, some days we all have to wait for love."
It is a terrible thing having someone who is willing to love you yet for some reason you can't stop thinking about that someone else. It is terrible and wonderful at the same time, because even though you're hurting the person ready for you, you know in your heart your love for that someone else is true. In the end you'll most likely end up with neither though, but where would we get sad songs if everyone had a happy ending?
18. Play Crack The Sky - Brand New
This song is one of my all-time favorite songs. It is stripped down and honest, scared and beguiling. Brand New has gone from angsty-teen, love scorned punk to jarring, heavy, dark
punch-you-in-the-nose kind of rock. This song fits somewhere in the middle of all that. A simple and sincere song that is a perfect ending track to this mix. Every time I hear this song I can't help but take stock of everything in my life, I want to call my parents and tell them I love them for fear I won't get another chance to do so in person. I think of love lost and love never had. Of women who have not even given me a second look to those who cried leaving me in the middle of the night. Telling me they love me but they can't do it anymore. This song always leaves me a little shaken up, but it is so beautiful and right I don't mind at all.
So there you have it. My All-Time, Deserted Island, Top Songs to put in a mix. Of course depending on my mood or the person I'm making the mix for some of the songs might change. I kept the track list to 18 songs because it fits right under the usual amount of space on a blank CD. If I had more time and limitless space there are countless songs I would add to this, but for the sake of this blog, and my sanity, 18 will do it for now.
I suggest also if you have not heard of any of these bands or songs that you quickly remedy that situation. And remember, anyone can make a mix, whether it's good or not doesn't necessarily matter. It's the fact that you took the time to compile a smattering of your favorite music to give to someone else that is important. The mix tape or CD is a lost art, help me bring it back.
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Put out the fire on us.
Look at em all laugh, look at em all carry the pictures of days left behind. Carrying thoughts that are decaying in their minds.
Look at em all sing, listen to em carry the melody of their silly sappy fuckin heart strings.
Follow me down the path, down the beaten road that leads to a celibacy-ridden riddle of a past.
Hear me gasp, a cough of bricks and claps to clutter the landscape of places I will never go. Listen to me tell you tales of forgotten apostles and proselytizing con artists who bring their shows to the road. Of beggars and thieves, of cowards on their knees arguing over the best way to not let you get away. Of days and nights all wrapped up tight like they had a choice.
Like I have a choice.
And here is my chance, my choice to leave my days of searching behind me. Stuttering my steps and I realize "not looking" will never be the way someone defines me. You play the chords and I'll hum along, I'll seek the retribution but never earn being wronged.
I like to play the role of the heartbroken, pity suits me well and I can stay kinda soft-spoken. Kinda one step behind the winners and kinda falling apart like one of the broken.
Look at em all dancing around the fires, screeching their tires to light the pilots in the ovens, burning me down, dirty by the dozen.
Look at em all fall in line, each one more deserving of never earning my time.
Follow me feeling sorry for myself, you can all read along in your illustrated guide I left on the shelf.
Hear me cough up one more plea, a never-had dialogue involving you and me. There are no clever lines, no show and tell, just a little history. A too-sad-for-T.V. tale of one boy's misery. Just a request to put out the fire on me. I'm burning down as plain as can be seen.
And here is my chance, my choice to forget the days behind me. My twelve step seminar to alabastering the darkness from where I can see. Welcome to my every single day. Where I pay my life fortune to sit and waste away. Where I'll sell your nieces and your cousins to the fires in the ovens to feed my growing addiction to doing nothing at all.
Welcome to the uprising, I can't wait for the fall.
Look at em all sing, listen to em carry the melody of their silly sappy fuckin heart strings.
Follow me down the path, down the beaten road that leads to a celibacy-ridden riddle of a past.
Hear me gasp, a cough of bricks and claps to clutter the landscape of places I will never go. Listen to me tell you tales of forgotten apostles and proselytizing con artists who bring their shows to the road. Of beggars and thieves, of cowards on their knees arguing over the best way to not let you get away. Of days and nights all wrapped up tight like they had a choice.
Like I have a choice.
And here is my chance, my choice to leave my days of searching behind me. Stuttering my steps and I realize "not looking" will never be the way someone defines me. You play the chords and I'll hum along, I'll seek the retribution but never earn being wronged.
I like to play the role of the heartbroken, pity suits me well and I can stay kinda soft-spoken. Kinda one step behind the winners and kinda falling apart like one of the broken.
Look at em all dancing around the fires, screeching their tires to light the pilots in the ovens, burning me down, dirty by the dozen.
Look at em all fall in line, each one more deserving of never earning my time.
Follow me feeling sorry for myself, you can all read along in your illustrated guide I left on the shelf.
Hear me cough up one more plea, a never-had dialogue involving you and me. There are no clever lines, no show and tell, just a little history. A too-sad-for-T.V. tale of one boy's misery. Just a request to put out the fire on me. I'm burning down as plain as can be seen.
And here is my chance, my choice to forget the days behind me. My twelve step seminar to alabastering the darkness from where I can see. Welcome to my every single day. Where I pay my life fortune to sit and waste away. Where I'll sell your nieces and your cousins to the fires in the ovens to feed my growing addiction to doing nothing at all.
Welcome to the uprising, I can't wait for the fall.
Friday, July 24, 2009
Lepidoptera or The Moth Effect
I had a dream this morning. It wasn't an inspirational dream or something that's going to change the world. Just a dream. Well, a dream about an ex-girlfriend. It's been almost two years since I've last spoken with her and as far as I can tell I probably won't ever again. This doesn't make me sad however. She is a jerk.
I'm not sure why I dreamed about her, I wasn't thinking about her at all the last couple of days. And now that I come to think of it, although it was her in the dream I think I was dreaming about someone else. It's a mystery you see, dreams often do not make sense and when you think you have them figured out you're actually completely wrong.
The person I was dreaming about was someone who recently came into my life. For reasons of my own safety I will change the names of those involved.
Natasha was always there. Just a few feet away but so off my radar I had never noticed her before. Once I did though it was all over. A slightly crooked smile, talk of music and Harry Potter and a death threat or two.
I had never had a relationship like the one I had with her. It was blistering passion, with two parts nerd and a quarter of secret agent mixed in for good measure. I was falling hard, I wanted something so much that I closed my eyes as to what I really had. It felt real, I was happier than I had been in a long time but it was false. It was a joke. An absurdity wrapped in a lie. It went down smooth and ate out the bottom of my stomach.
It ended not once, but three times and in a way it's still not over. The first two times had something to do with her boyfriend not exactly loving the attention I was giving her. The third was me realizing this girl was a moth girl. Not literally of course, but she is for all intents and purposes a moth. I will explain shortly.
I think this dream though, about someone I haven't spoken to in almost two years, was trying to tell me something.
The dream itself. I was in a diner or cafe or truck stop. I was standing at the register ringing people up when I turn around and see her. The bob haircut sitting right beneath her chin. She looked a little taller, a little bigger, but she had the same perfect smile. The fucking smile that could change from the prettiest most heartwarming thing you've ever seen to a scowl that could strip paint.
I immediately knew it was her and wanted to hurry things along to minimize the amount I had to talk to her. She felt the same way. It gets a little fuzzy there, but I remember her wearing the exact outfit that Natasha was wearing the last time I saw her. She said to me very heatedly, "I can really see now that we have nothing in common to talk about. Just get this done so I can leave."
I pleaded with her to try and talk to me, but I couldn't quite talk right and she wasn't having it anyway. The last time I spoke to Natasha, which was fairly recently, for an agonizing moment or two, I felt like I had almost nothing to say to her. I felt something in my stomach, not butterflies, but something. Maybe there is another small insect feeling you get when see someone you're excited to see but immediately realize they are the last person you should be speaking to. The moth effect.
Her crooked smile and beguiling charm doesn't work as well when I remembered how much pain they caused. She just seemed like a fake. Like she had this whole act perfected to entice men. To make them fall for someone who was never there in the first place. She reeled me in and I took the bait hook, line and sinker.
My dream girl, pardon the expression, was right though. We have nothing left to talk about. We are so similar in so many aspects but because you are who you are we are on different ends of the spectrum.
Beware of this kind of girl, she is beautiful and deceptive. She will give you that same warm, invigorating, everything-in-the-world-is-suddenly-right sensation but it's fake. It's a similar feeling but instead of excitement, all you end up with is ruined clothes.
I'm not sure why I dreamed about her, I wasn't thinking about her at all the last couple of days. And now that I come to think of it, although it was her in the dream I think I was dreaming about someone else. It's a mystery you see, dreams often do not make sense and when you think you have them figured out you're actually completely wrong.
The person I was dreaming about was someone who recently came into my life. For reasons of my own safety I will change the names of those involved.
Natasha was always there. Just a few feet away but so off my radar I had never noticed her before. Once I did though it was all over. A slightly crooked smile, talk of music and Harry Potter and a death threat or two.
I had never had a relationship like the one I had with her. It was blistering passion, with two parts nerd and a quarter of secret agent mixed in for good measure. I was falling hard, I wanted something so much that I closed my eyes as to what I really had. It felt real, I was happier than I had been in a long time but it was false. It was a joke. An absurdity wrapped in a lie. It went down smooth and ate out the bottom of my stomach.
It ended not once, but three times and in a way it's still not over. The first two times had something to do with her boyfriend not exactly loving the attention I was giving her. The third was me realizing this girl was a moth girl. Not literally of course, but she is for all intents and purposes a moth. I will explain shortly.
I think this dream though, about someone I haven't spoken to in almost two years, was trying to tell me something.
The dream itself. I was in a diner or cafe or truck stop. I was standing at the register ringing people up when I turn around and see her. The bob haircut sitting right beneath her chin. She looked a little taller, a little bigger, but she had the same perfect smile. The fucking smile that could change from the prettiest most heartwarming thing you've ever seen to a scowl that could strip paint.
I immediately knew it was her and wanted to hurry things along to minimize the amount I had to talk to her. She felt the same way. It gets a little fuzzy there, but I remember her wearing the exact outfit that Natasha was wearing the last time I saw her. She said to me very heatedly, "I can really see now that we have nothing in common to talk about. Just get this done so I can leave."
I pleaded with her to try and talk to me, but I couldn't quite talk right and she wasn't having it anyway. The last time I spoke to Natasha, which was fairly recently, for an agonizing moment or two, I felt like I had almost nothing to say to her. I felt something in my stomach, not butterflies, but something. Maybe there is another small insect feeling you get when see someone you're excited to see but immediately realize they are the last person you should be speaking to. The moth effect.
Her crooked smile and beguiling charm doesn't work as well when I remembered how much pain they caused. She just seemed like a fake. Like she had this whole act perfected to entice men. To make them fall for someone who was never there in the first place. She reeled me in and I took the bait hook, line and sinker.
My dream girl, pardon the expression, was right though. We have nothing left to talk about. We are so similar in so many aspects but because you are who you are we are on different ends of the spectrum.
Beware of this kind of girl, she is beautiful and deceptive. She will give you that same warm, invigorating, everything-in-the-world-is-suddenly-right sensation but it's fake. It's a similar feeling but instead of excitement, all you end up with is ruined clothes.
Thursday, July 9, 2009
First Official Blog: Matt About Town and Incubus
Hello everyone, hopefully there is an everyone out there.
I have decided to start this blog based on true events and the encouragement of those who have been intrigued in either my writing or the zany misadventures of my life so far. The title of this blog, Matt About Town, was inspired by the column I wrote for the Sacramento City College newspaper under the same name. I wrote initially about different things I did around town but it eventually grew into a place for me to write about all aspects of life and things that interested me and made me think. It is one of the things I am most proud of to this day. I hope to keep up this tradition with this new incarnation for my writing and I also hope all those people out in cyberspace will appreciate it.
Well, no reason to keep some of you waiting.
This weekend I am embarking on the longest journey I have ever made without my family. Myself and my dear friend Susie are going to Santa Barbara to see Incubus and spend some time in the sun and well, not being in Sacramento. This will be the fourth time I have seen Incubus and I am very excited to say the least. I started really listening to them when I was in the ninth grade. I had heard a few of the singles from Make Yourself on the radio and wanted to get a little more in-depth. So I bought S.C.I.E.N.C.E.
Upon first listening I discovered a different band than the one I had heard on the radio. I could hardly understand any of the lyrics, there was frenetic guitar playing, bass and drums were everywhere. I was beginning to regret my purchase. I forced myself to keep listening though, time after time, track after track. Eventually it clicked, it was like that scene in the 13th Warrior when Antonio Banderas' character began to pick up on the Nordic language his new companions we're speaking. Slowly each word started to make sense and I could pick out multiple lines, I could start to make sense of everything. That is when Incubus truly started to open up to me.
S.C.I.E.N.C.E. quickly became my favorite Incubus album and I became proud of the fact that I knew about it when a majority of my friends had never heard about it. It was in high school that I really started to grow my own taste in music. I was able to branch out and away from the classic rock foundation that my parents bestowed upon me. It is something that I feel has defined me ever since then and is something that I find almost necessary in other people. One of the things I hate most when I meet someone is to hear that they listen to, "all kinds of music."
No you don't. And if you actually do, stop and make up your fucking mind. Ridiculous.
Normally I wouldn't have a problem with someone having a diverse taste in something, but when it comes to music I feel like there is too much to choose from to honestly say you like all of it. In addition to that, different kinds of music say a lot about the people who listen to them. For instance, someone who listens to the Jonas Brothers probably won't share similar opinions on life as me. I could be wrong and I'm willing to admit that, but ultimately our musical tastes define us.
Incubus has been my favorite band for years. They've changed from album to album and the change, in my opinion, has never been a bad one. How does this define me? Does it say I have changed throughout the years but managed to remain the same person at the core? Or does it simply mean I like a band with commercial success as well as relative longevity?
It doesn't necessarily have to mean anything. But it does mean that I am passionate enough about this band that I am willing to go over four hundred miles to see them for two hours. I care enough about the music I love to spend hundreds of dollars to experience it for the fourth time. Maybe it means that I have a better answer than everything when people ask me what kind of music I listen to.
I have decided to start this blog based on true events and the encouragement of those who have been intrigued in either my writing or the zany misadventures of my life so far. The title of this blog, Matt About Town, was inspired by the column I wrote for the Sacramento City College newspaper under the same name. I wrote initially about different things I did around town but it eventually grew into a place for me to write about all aspects of life and things that interested me and made me think. It is one of the things I am most proud of to this day. I hope to keep up this tradition with this new incarnation for my writing and I also hope all those people out in cyberspace will appreciate it.
Well, no reason to keep some of you waiting.
This weekend I am embarking on the longest journey I have ever made without my family. Myself and my dear friend Susie are going to Santa Barbara to see Incubus and spend some time in the sun and well, not being in Sacramento. This will be the fourth time I have seen Incubus and I am very excited to say the least. I started really listening to them when I was in the ninth grade. I had heard a few of the singles from Make Yourself on the radio and wanted to get a little more in-depth. So I bought S.C.I.E.N.C.E.
Upon first listening I discovered a different band than the one I had heard on the radio. I could hardly understand any of the lyrics, there was frenetic guitar playing, bass and drums were everywhere. I was beginning to regret my purchase. I forced myself to keep listening though, time after time, track after track. Eventually it clicked, it was like that scene in the 13th Warrior when Antonio Banderas' character began to pick up on the Nordic language his new companions we're speaking. Slowly each word started to make sense and I could pick out multiple lines, I could start to make sense of everything. That is when Incubus truly started to open up to me.
S.C.I.E.N.C.E. quickly became my favorite Incubus album and I became proud of the fact that I knew about it when a majority of my friends had never heard about it. It was in high school that I really started to grow my own taste in music. I was able to branch out and away from the classic rock foundation that my parents bestowed upon me. It is something that I feel has defined me ever since then and is something that I find almost necessary in other people. One of the things I hate most when I meet someone is to hear that they listen to, "all kinds of music."
No you don't. And if you actually do, stop and make up your fucking mind. Ridiculous.
Normally I wouldn't have a problem with someone having a diverse taste in something, but when it comes to music I feel like there is too much to choose from to honestly say you like all of it. In addition to that, different kinds of music say a lot about the people who listen to them. For instance, someone who listens to the Jonas Brothers probably won't share similar opinions on life as me. I could be wrong and I'm willing to admit that, but ultimately our musical tastes define us.
Incubus has been my favorite band for years. They've changed from album to album and the change, in my opinion, has never been a bad one. How does this define me? Does it say I have changed throughout the years but managed to remain the same person at the core? Or does it simply mean I like a band with commercial success as well as relative longevity?
It doesn't necessarily have to mean anything. But it does mean that I am passionate enough about this band that I am willing to go over four hundred miles to see them for two hours. I care enough about the music I love to spend hundreds of dollars to experience it for the fourth time. Maybe it means that I have a better answer than everything when people ask me what kind of music I listen to.
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